she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
