Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
