my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
