Whod you bang
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
