I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
