A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
