Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
