Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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