He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
