Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
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