Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
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You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
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Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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