i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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