So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
