They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
