Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
