YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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