think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
