Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
