Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
