Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
