do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
