can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
