Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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