At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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