I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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