I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
