Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize