I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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