no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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