i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
