Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
