just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize