you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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