I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize