How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have fence marks all over my body
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
