I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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