We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My life is pants optional.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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