coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
