did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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