guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
