I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
