I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
