there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
