in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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