Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
one might say we're banned from that church
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW