You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
