My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night