Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
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last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"