i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize