is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?