maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
