I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
