Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
