Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize