We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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