I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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