how can u be prego again
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
