You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
