it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
