I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
