it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
