Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
