I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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