its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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