i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
