I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
